Vintner

HANGs out his Bush to shew he has not good Wine ; for that, the Proverb says, needs it not. If wine were as necessary as Bread, he would stand in the Pillory for selling false Measure, as well as Bakers do for false Weight ; but since it is at every Man’s Choice to come to his House or not, those that do, are guilty of half the Injuries he does them, and he believes the rest to be none at all, because no Injury can be done to him, that is willing to take it. He had rather sell bad Wine, than good that stands him in no more, for it makes Men sooner drunk, and then they are the easier over-reckoned. By the Knaveries he acts above-board, which every Man sees, one may easily take a Measure of those he does under Ground in his Cellar ; for he that will pick a Man’s Pocket to his Face, will not stick to use him worse in private when he knows nothing of it. When he has poisoned his Wines he raises his Price, and to make amends for that abates his Measure, for he thinks it a greater sin to commit Murder for small Gains, than a valuable Consideration. He does not only spoil and destroy his Wines, but an ancient reverend Proverb, with brewing and racking, that says, In vino veritas, for there is no Truth in his, but all false and sophisticated; for he can counterfeit Wine as cunningly as Apelles did Grapes, and cheat Men with it, as he did Birds. He brings every Bottle of Wine he draws to the Bar, to confess it to be a Cheat, and afterwards puts himself upon the Mercy of the Company. He is an Antichristian Cheat; for Christ turned Water into Wine, and he turns Wine into Water. He scores all his Reckonings upon two Tables made like those of the ten Commandments, that he may be put in Mind to break them as oft as possibly he can ; especially that of stealing and bearing false Witness against his Neighbour, when he draws him bad Wine and swears it is good, and that he can take more for the Pipe than the Wine will yield him by the Bottle, a Trick that a Jesuit taught him to cheat his own Conscience with. When he is found to over-reckon notoriously, he has one common Evasion for all, and that is to say it was a Mistake, by which he means, that he thought they had not been sober enough to discover it; for if it had past, there had been no Error at all in the Case.