An Impudent Man

Is one, whose want of Money and want of Wit have engaged him beyond his Abilities. The little Knowledge he has of himself being suitable to the little he has in his Profession has Made him believe himself fit for it. This double Ignorance has made him set a Value upon himself, as he that wants a great deal appears in a better Condition, than he that wants a little. This renders him confident, and fit for any Undertaking, and sometimes (such is the concurrent Ignorance of the World) he prospers In it, but oftner miscarries, and becomes ridiculous; yet this Advantage he has, that as nothing can make him see his Error, so he is fortified with his Ignorance, as barren and rocky Places are by their situation, and he will rather believe that all Men want Judgment, than himself. For as no Man is pleased, that has an ill Opinion of himsels, Nature, that finds out Remedies herself, and his own Ease render him indefensible of his Defects¬—From hence he grows impudent; for as Men judge by Comparison, he knows as little what it is To be defective, as what it is to be excellent. Nothing renders Men modest, but a just Knowledge how to compare themselves with others; and where that is wanting, Impudence supplies the Place of it: for there is no Vacuum in the Minds of Men, and commonly, like other Things in Nature, they swell more with Rarefaction than Condensation. The more Men know of the World, the worse Opinion they have of it; and the more they understand of Truth, they are better acquainted with the Difficulties of it, and conssequently are the less confident in their Assertions, especially in matters of Probability, which commonly is squintey’d, and looks nine Ways at once. It is the Office of a just Judge to hear both Paries, and he that considers but the one side of Things can never make a just Judgment, though he may by Chance a true one. Impudence is the Bastard of Ignorance, not only unlawfully, but incestoussly begotten by a Man upon his own Understanding, and laid by himsels at his own Door, a Monster of unnatural Production; for shame is as much the Propriety of human Nature (though overseen by the Philossophers) and perhaps more than Reason, Laughing, or looking asquint, by which they distinguish Man from Beasts; and the less Men have of it, the nearer they approach to the Nature of Brutes. Modesty is but a noble Jealousy of Honour, and Impudence the Prostitution of it; for he, whose Face is proof against Infamy, must be as little sensible of Glory. His Forehead, like a voluntary Cuckold’s is by his Horns made Proof against a Blush. Nature made Man barefaced, and civil Custom has preserved him so; but he that’s impudent does wear a Vizard more ugly and deformed than Highway Thieves disguise themselves with. shame is the tender moral Conscience of good Men. When there is a Crack In the skull, Nature herself with a tough horny Callus repairs the Breach; so a flaw’d Intellect Is with a brawny Callus Face supplied. The Face is the Dial of the Mind; and where they Do not go together, ‘tis a sign, that one or Both are out of Order. He that is impudent is like a Merchant, that trades upon his Credit without a stock, and if his Debts were known, would break immediately. The Inside of his Head is like the Outside; and his Peruke as naturally of his own Growth, as his Wit. He passes in the World like a Piece of Counterfeit Coin, looks well enough until he is rubbed and worn with Use, and then his Copper Complexion begins to appear, and nobody will take Him, but by Owl-light.